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Set an alert on my phone to alert me everyday to “Stay Positive” it pops up on my phone and is a constant reminder during the day. It’s been positive and great for me, maybe you should try it Negative Nelly!!

Posted 1 week ago

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Think in the morning, act in the noon, read in the evening, and sleep at night.

Basically my schedule. Except I don’t sleep at night, or ever for that matter!!

Posted 2 weeks ago

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Funny is -

Standing in the elevator with a mid 40’s female pharmaceutical rep, attractive and well dressed. When all of a sudden her cell phone rings (cue eminem) “come on girl shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me.” Wish I had a chart to display how many shades of red she turned! Pretty sure she will be changing that tonight! Haha

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Posted 2 weeks ago
via jeffmiller

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jeffmiller:

GET MONEY, TURN GAY - Songify The News (by schmoyoho)

Posted 2 weeks ago
via textsfrombennett

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2418 Notes

textsfrombennett:

Guess who’s home?

Ran out of material so you had to make up Bennett getting arrested? Had you bailed him out of jail you would have already had the conversation of why he was in there…..right? You have made money and gathered a cult following, but until you prove he is real, you are just a cyber douhebag!! Go join the cast of Jersey Shore if you want to be a popular dumb ass. I’m guessing you lack real attention in life…..

2012 -

Is going to be life changing!

THE TIM

This dad is awesome!

It is helping me -

Funny is -

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2012 -