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Notes

Dogs and Douche Bags

In my neighborhood we have a ton of dogs. I’m not talking about cute little dogs that you can pet and let lick your face. I’m talking about dogs that yelp and cry and beat by their crack headed owners all night long. There is this dog that barks for at least 5 hours straight every night. My thought is that the owner works 3rd shift and just lets the poor little guy stay in the back yard and keep me awake. If this happens after the baby is born, which I am sure it will, I am going to do one of the following.

1. Kill Myself

2. Soak a raw steak in anti-freeze and throw over to lassie at about 2am.

My other complaint is the douche bag that drives into my neighborhood and honks his horn at 1:30am every single night. He picks up some guy that lives down the street and instead of flashing his lights or getting his fat ass out of the car, he honks. This is not a short little toot, it’s him laying on the horn until his homo lover comes out.

To remedy this little problem I have been working on curving the bullets in my gun…..like that movie Wanted. Maybe if I miss I will at least hit that damn dog!!!

THE TIM

Dogs and Douche Bags

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